Forgetting How To Do Things....

During my lunch break today, I called my Mom to say hello, and to let her know that I will be working until 7pm tonight. She proceeded to tell me that she had been vacuuming the house today, and that my Dad showed her how to use it. She said she forgot how to use it. She then said, it's not funny when you lose your memory. It was funny but sad at the same time.

My Mom is changing, and I pray that she never forgets who I am.

Phone call while in Springfield

Joe and I traveled to Springfield to visit our friend Cira. While there, my Dad called me a few times. Each time it was to tell me about the bad day that they were having. He was continuously complaining about everything that she does or doesn't get done. Yes, she was yelling and swearing at him. If he could just stop speaking to her the way that he does, and also help her a bit more....just maybe there would be less fighting going on between them.

My dad was calling her crazy. She grabbed the phone from him, and said to me...."Don't listen to him, he is F...... crazy, and I am not much better." I told them both to stop the arguing, and then I hung up.

This all must stop. They both need to move to some place easier for them both. This is very upsetting to both my brother and myself.

My Frustrated Dad

I really can't remember when my Dad wasn't frustrated with any of us in our family. He never seemed to take time to relax, and that is probably why he is still like this today. Dad worked for the railroad, with very long hours. I think that he feels that if he can keep on keeping busy, that he will avoid the inevitable...death.


When we were growing up, it seemed that if we did something one way...he would tell us that we were doing it wrong. Learned behaviors are a bad thing, that is why God instructs us to:


Proverbs 22:6King James Version (KJV)
⁶ Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.


Since my Dad was not a man of God, even though he was a Catholic, he did not show the love of Jesus when instructing us in life. He is still that way, and I pray that he will come to love Jesus like I do.


I left my parents' home when I was 18, and moved into my own apartment. At 23, I married my first husband, and had 2 children with him. During that time, I spoke to my children like my Dad did with me.


In 1995, I divorced, and then remarried in 1997. At that time, I turned my life over to Jesus. Jesus must mold us into the person He wants us to be. It has been almost 20 years, and He is still molding me. Sometimes he allows me to break, so that I will look to Him for His guidance.


My Dad still believes that the man is the head of the house, and that the wife is the one to do all of the housework, cooking & laundry. My Mom is currently 87, has neuropathy in her feet and hands, and is getting feeble. She is constantly on the go, doing whatever my Dad wants...and at that very second. He thinks that she should NEVER be tired. My poor Mom. She deserves a break in life. I sometimes feel that she will sit down to rest one day, and pass away in her chair from exhaustion. :(


My Mom has dementia, and my Dad doesn't understand that there are limits to how much she is able to do. He also corrects her for EVERYTHING. He yells at her, and then she ends up yelling at him. A few weeks ago, she hit my Dad. My Dad then told me that he wanted to slap her in the face. I then asked if I should call the police on the both of them.....this is so difficult for me to deal with from afar.


I wish I could be there to help them, but they live in New Jersey; while I live in Missouri. All I can do is be there for them, by phone, to encourage them to love each other, and to not treat each other like they do.


My husband Joe, and I cherish each day that we have together. We work together, we play together, and we ARE each other's best friend.

A Pair of Mittens

     Last week, while on the phone with my Mom, she began to tell me about a time when I was younger. I was around 7 years old. My Mom would knit mittens for my brother and myself. One day, when I returned from school, my Mom asked me where my mittens were. I replied, "I gave them to another girl who didn't have any mittens. Her hands were cold." My Mom then started to get upset with me. She said, "do you think I can just knit you a pair overnight to keep your hands warm?"
     My Grandfather was visiting while this was all going on. He looked at my Mom, and said, "Don't you give her a hard time about that. She has got a giving heart, and there aren't very many people out there like her."

Mom's Fall in the Tub

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that they were not having a good day. It seems like lately, they are having less good days and more bad days. I believe that the bad days are triggered more by my Dad's reaction to my Mom. I have been trying to explain to him the information that I have been learning from listening to podcasts. My Dad just does not want to listen to me. He wants to believe that he knows it all. My concern is for their safety first. Just because someone hasn't fallen before; doesn't mean that it can't happen at some time in the future.




Ok, so back to the phone call....my Dad proceeded to tell me that my Mother had taken her shower, and had removed the rubber tub mat. She realized that she had not taken the window curtain down, so she stepped back into the wet and slippery porcelain tub, and down she went. She hit her head on the tub, and had a bump on her head.


I asked him if he took  her to the hospital, and he replied, "No, I didn't". "I gave her 2 aspirin, and an icepack for her head, and told her to go lay down for a while." Right away, I said to him, "You never let someone sleep who has hit their head. She may not wake up." He then said, "she said she was fine!"




A while later, I called my brother to let him know about Mom falling. My brother is currently not speaking with my Dad, and only contacts Mom once a month to make sure she is ok. His reason is that they have not decided to move where we can help them, that they did not set up a trust to protect their money and assets, and they don't have an Umbrella Policy to protect them in the event of a car accident. My brother couldn't stay on the call, as he was at Ryan's ball game working the concession stand.


Later that evening, I noticed that I had missed a call from my Mom or Dad. I called back, and Dad was very upset with me for telling Lawrence about Mom. He expects me to never tell Lawrence ANYTHING about them. At the same time, Lawrence expects me to stop talking to my parents. I will not get in the middle of their war. I love all of them, and they are acting ridiculous.




I will be praying for all of my family. They sure need the prayers.

And in the beginning...